Saying “that hurt me” isn’t dramatic. It’s giving them a chance to fix it instead of guessing.
RESILIENCE
WHAT THIS MEANS
An injury nobody hears about cannot be repaired. When you stay quiet, the other person is left to guess, and most people guess wrong, so the same thing happens again and you grow a little more distant for reasons they cannot see. Putting it plainly hands them a chance to do something. Whether they take it tells you something worth knowing.
Use short words and the specific moment rather than a summary of their character. Say what happened and how it landed, then stop and let them answer. You are not asking to be agreed with, only to be understood.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Whose small hurt have you carried instead of naming it?
MORE IN COURAGE & RISK
- “I was wrong” is three words that make you look bigger, not smaller. Almost nobody believes that until they try it.
- Mispronouncing words in a new language isn’t embarrassing. It’s the sound of someone actually trying.
- Asking “what could I do better?” takes guts. Most people would rather guess forever than hear the answer.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.