There’s no “too far” on God’s map. He’s already been to every place you’ve run.

Distance is the lie shame tells best. Once you have gone past a certain point it becomes easy to believe you have crossed out of range, and that belief does more damage than the original thing, because it stops you turning round. The map here has no such edge. Wherever you went, it was already covered ground.

If you have been staying away because of what you did, notice that the staying away is now the main problem. Come back in whatever clumsy form is available tonight. Tell one person who will not flinch, and stop waiting until you have improved enough to be worth retrieving.