When your friend gets the spot you wanted, clap first and process later. Your turn will want that same applause.

Two reactions arrive at once and only one of them can go first. There is real happiness for someone you care about, and the private ache of the thing you wanted, and both are legitimate. The ache does not have to be denied. It just should not be the part that speaks first, because that window is what gets remembered.

Clap, and mean the part of it you can mean, then go and feel the rest privately or with someone safe. Do not go quiet on them, since silence at that moment reads clearly. Remember how much you will want an unhesitating reaction when it is your turn.