Anyone can be kind for a week. Watch who’s still kind in month eight.

Short bursts of generosity are cheap and sincere at the same time. What distinguishes people is what happens when the gratitude stops arriving, the situation is no longer interesting, and helping has become an ordinary recurring cost. Sustained kindness is a quieter thing and it looks like almost nothing from outside.

Think of someone whose hard stretch has gone on long enough that most people have drifted. Check in this week with no occasion. Ask something specific rather than how they are doing generally. And if you are the one in month eight of needing help, it is fair to say so plainly.