A consequence can be compassionate when removing it would teach something destructive.

Removing every consequence can be the least caring thing available. If someone learns that missed deadlines, broken promises, or damage to others never lands anywhere, that lesson goes with them into rooms where the stakes are much higher and nobody is protecting them. Allowing a proportionate cost to stand is sometimes the most loving option, though it never feels that way at the time.

When you want to shield someone, ask what they will conclude if you do. Then ask what the world will teach them later if you keep doing it. Let the consequence be real, stay warm while it happens, and make clear that the relationship is not the thing at stake.