Watch what makes someone’s eyes light up. That’s the fastest way to know who they really are.
LEADERSHIP
WHAT THIS MEANS
People curate what they say about themselves, but nobody curates the small lift that happens when a subject they love comes up. Opinions can be borrowed and credentials can be polished. Delight is involuntary, and it points straight at what a person actually cares about.
In your next few conversations, track the moment someone leans forward instead of the moment they try to impress you. Ask a follow-up question about that thing rather than moving on politely. You will learn more in two minutes than in an hour of general talk, and the other person will feel unusually seen.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
What lights up the person you spend most time with?
MORE IN LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE
- Leadership starts when you’re the first to say the thing everyone’s noticed but nobody’s named.
- If you’re loading your comeback while they’re still talking, you’re not in a conversation. You’re in a queue.
- Point out someone’s talent before the world does. You might be the first person who ever said it.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.