Your grandma won’t remember what you scrolled past at dinner. She’ll remember whether you listened.

What stays with people is whether they felt heard. Whatever was on your screen at dinner is gone from your memory within a day, while the feeling of being half heard sits with the other person much longer. Older relatives are especially aware of it, because they have fewer of those evenings left than you do.

At the next meal, put the phone somewhere else in the room rather than face down beside you. Ask one question about something before you were born and let the answer run long. Everything else will still be there afterwards.