Saying “love you” first to a friend or parent feels oddly risky. The awkward silence rarely comes.

Going first means the gap before the reply belongs entirely to you, and your head fills it with every awkward possibility. Almost always the reply comes, because most people are also waiting for somebody else to begin. Families and friendships can run for years on the assumption that it is understood, which works right up until somebody wishes they had said it. The word costs nothing and the silence you fear is rare.

Say it once this week to somebody who would not expect it. On the way out of the door is easier than across a table.