Sometimes grief appears as irritation because sadness needed another language.

Sadness does not always come out looking like sadness. It shows up as a short temper, as impatience in traffic, as irritation with people who have done nothing. The feeling was too large or too raw to arrive directly, so it borrowed a smaller and more manageable form. Recognizing the substitution is often the first relief.

When you find yourself unusually annoyed for no proportionate reason, ask what is actually underneath before you act on it. Say to yourself that you are sad rather than angry and see whether the pressure eases. Warning the people around you helps them not take the misfire personally.