Watch who everyone glances at before they laugh. That’s who really leads the table. Make sure it’s someone kind.

Groups have an informal authority that has nothing to do with titles, and you can spot it in where people’s eyes go when something happens. Whoever gets checked with sets what is acceptable to find funny, and that quietly decides who in the group is safe. Nobody chose this and nobody announces it. It is still the most powerful position at the table.

Watch for that glance this week and work out who holds it where you are. If it is you, be careful what you laugh at. If it is somebody careless, be the one who does not join in.