Your intentions cannot repeatedly excuse your impact.

You do not get graded on what you meant. Other people experience what actually reached them, and if the same impact keeps recurring, the good intention behind it stops functioning as an explanation and starts functioning as a way of avoiding the pattern. One misfire is a mistake. A recurring one is a design problem.

When someone tells you how something landed, resist the reflex to clarify your intent first. Ask what they experienced and what would be different next time. Then change the thing that produces the impact rather than the story about your motives.