Real trust is saying “that hurt” and hearing “how?” instead of “why are you so sensitive?”

Two replies to the same sentence sort people quickly. One treats your hurt as information and asks for more of it. The other puts your reaction on trial so the thing you said can be set aside. Neither reply requires agreement about what happened, and curiosity is cheap, so its absence tells you how much room you have.

Watch for which reply you give. When someone tells you they were hurt, the whole job in the first minute is one question and then quiet. Save your version for later, and notice that it usually matters less by then.