A friend who knows your brother’s name and your work schedule is paying attention to more than the fun parts.

Paying attention to the boring details is a kind of effort nobody performs. Remembering a brother’s name or which nights you close means somebody has been filing away the structure of your life, not just the entertaining parts of it. That information has no social value to them. It only exists so they can ask the right question on the right day.

Keep a few of those details about the people you care about. Which exam, which shift, which relative is unwell. Then use one this week, ask about the specific thing, and watch how different it lands from asking how they are.