In their version of the story, you might be the one who was rude. Worth a thought.

Every person in a disagreement is the narrator of their own account, and in theirs you are a character whose behavior needs explaining. That does not mean they are right. It means a version exists where your tone was the problem, and you have never heard it. Most long grudges are two people each certain they were only responding to the other’s rudeness.

Think of a recent run-in and try telling it from the other seat, without sneaking in your reasons. Notice which parts get harder to defend. You can keep your own view and still hold it a little more loosely.