The plan that failed may have held hopes you never explained to anyone.

Some plans carry more than their stated purpose. A move, a business, a course of study can quietly be holding a hope about who you were going to become, or about a relationship, or about finally proving something to yourself. When the plan ends, other people see a practical setback and offer practical comfort, while you are grieving something you never said out loud.

If a loss is heavier than it seems it should be, it is worth naming the hope underneath it, at least privately. That hope can often be carried into something else, once you know what it is.