Your friend’s win can hurt and you can still clap. Both can be true in the same minute.

Envy and affection are not opposites and they show up together constantly. Feeling a sting when someone close to you gets the thing you wanted does not mean you are a bad friend, it means you wanted it too. The mistake is assuming one feeling cancels the other and then either faking delight or going cold.

Say congratulations properly, in person or in a message that took a minute to write. Then, separately and privately, let yourself be disappointed about your own situation. Keeping the two conversations apart is what makes the friendship survive the season.