When people say “You’ve changed” like it’s an insult, check which direction you were headed.

Changed is a neutral word people use when a change inconveniences them. Sometimes it is a real warning from someone who cares and sees you drifting. Sometimes it means you stopped doing the thing that made you convenient. The only way to tell is to look at where you are actually going rather than at their tone.

When you hear it, ask yourself one question: would the version of you from two years ago be relieved or disappointed. If you cannot tell, ask a person who wants good things for you and has no stake in it. Then decide, rather than adjusting to the tone of voice.