Help that removes dignity can cost more than it gives.

Aid delivered in a way that makes someone smaller can leave them worse than the problem did. The pity in the voice, the audience, the reminder later, the assumption that they cannot manage anything. The material need gets met and something harder to replace gets spent.

When you help, watch the manner as closely as the substance. Say less, make it ordinary, let them keep their standing in the exchange. If you would be uncomfortable receiving it the way you are offering it, adjust the way rather than the amount.