Help is most useful when it respects the receiver’s agency.

The most common failure in helping is deciding for someone. You know what they should do, you arrange it, and you are surprised when they resent it. Assistance that overrides a person’s own choices delivers the outcome and removes them from their own life.

Ask what would actually help before providing what you assume would. Offer options rather than conclusions. It is slower, and it leaves the person still in charge of their situation, which is usually the thing they were most at risk of losing.